Questions?

The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything - except what is worth knowing. If there's one thing you need to know about me... it's that I love ice cream. I've been told that I have the body of a lady and the mouth of a sailor. My wit is dry and not many people appreciate that. I'm assertive, crass, unabashed and more often than not I come off as a condescending cunt... but those that can see past it tend to think I'm rather special.

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable. To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. I don't know what I'm going to become but I hope it isn't an adult.